I began working with adolescents during my graduate school internship and have never stopped. They are as fearless, honest, and loyal as they are careless, selfish, and rebellious. Exploring options & the law of natural consequences are key to my work with adolescents, often with great success.

1. They are smarter (cognitively) than you think.
2. They are dumber (emotionally) than you think.
3. They are fearless (physically).
4. They are scared . . . of looking dumb in front of anybody.
5. They believe adults don't know what they are talking about (and they often don't).
6. They want to be taken seriously.
7. They want to be listened to actively, interestedly, sincerely, and genuinely.
8. Sex is very important to them and they will rarely talk about it and it can be wildly dangerous.
9. They want to be wanted.
10. Abandonment is their greatest fear.

First, think about your adolescence and remember your own confusion over all the choices you faced. Second, remember how often you made mistakes. Third, think hard about what's important in the long run. Then, hug your kid and tell him or her that you love them.

1. Take them seriously.
2. Listen carefully.
3. Do not assume you know or understand their world.
4. Be respectful.
5. Learn to say 'O.K.', often and without judgement.
6. See the world through their eyes — it is overwhelming, exciting, frightening and amazing.
7. Imagine what they may have lost and what that means to them. Not to you, to them. Then say, 'I am sorry.'
8. Be curious. Ask, 'What was that like for you?'
9. Be impressed with their ability to survive in a world with so many difficult choices.
10. Think 'Heart.' Talk about what you feel in your heart. Ask them what they feel in their's.